In keeping with the increasing crappiness in standards of journalism of our times, a substantial amount of media attention is devoted to "Page 3 celebs" and people who in all probability, do not deserve any of it.
Now do not ask me what kind of people qualify to be Page 3 celebs. For I do not know myself.
Here's a glossary of sorts to elucidate further on who and why or how exactly they land up in the news, although you know THAT already, I guess :-
Ranbir Kapoor:- For whoring his way through tinsel town. Be it some married older socialite, or coochie-cooing with Anushka Sharma/Katrina Kaif or getting all hot and heavy with some model-turned-wannabe-actress (Angela Johnson? or was it Thompson?) his exploits in the can't-keep-it-in-my-pants department make for a great page-turner.
Sonam Kapoor:- For wearing good clothes. And accessorizing them with good shoes. And you know, good bags. And good jewellery. And making appearances at events for...reasons best known to her and the event-organizers.
Mallika Sherawat: For not wearing clothes.
Uday Chopra: For realizing too late that he should've retired from acting right after his debut.
Shah Rukh Khan: For his latest version of Himani Navaratna Tel ad. Or a jibe at Aamir Khan. Or giving an impassioned speech (punctuated with barely-concealed self-admiration) while receiving an award for best acting, nobody gives a shit about. Also for being at the receiving end of the wrath of few disgruntled IIPM students.
Abhishek Bachchan: For his "Pa", ma, wife, unborn kid(s) OR an Idea ad.
Katrina Kaif: For denying relationships with Akshay Kumar and Ranbir Kapoor and Salman Khan. Also for being the only Bollywood actress who doesn't have to fake a foreign accent.
Salman Khan: For assaulting people (psychologically or otherwise) with his fabulously shitty movies and shittier driving. Or for trying to threaten ex-girlfriend's current beau into submission, by calling him up n number of times.
Aamir Khan: For deciding to flaunt a bizarre new mustache for random declared-hit-even-before-release movie.
Imran Khan: For the above mentioned person.
Deepika Padukone: For fuming over being dumped unceremoniously.
Ekta Kapoor: For changing her astrologer/numerologist/tarot card reader for the 97462354th time. Also for generating widespread alarm on dropping the letter "K" from her serial names.
Arindam Chaudhuri: For well...being the author of books which become best-sellers even before launch and running an institution which guarantees 100% fictional MBA degrees with 100% placements in 100% fictional organizations.
Sanjay Leela Bhansali: For making a movie with a supposedly ground-breaking new theme, which often turns out to be a scene-by-scene copy of some phoren filum few people have heard of.
Aishwarya Rai: For making fashion faux passes at Cannes and Oprah and the Oscars every alternate year and posing for photographs, with that famous plastic smile intact.
Ram Gopal Verma: For expressing support for a psychopath murderer so that some people finally take note of the fact that he is still around making movies.
Chetan Bhagat: For posting intelligent tweets and deleting them later on 'cause they proved to be too intelligent for ordinary people to comprehend.
Karan Johar: For threatening to make a sequel to Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, (possibly pissed off with all the gay jokes on twitter).
Last but not the least,
|Wait...I can't remember if I actually have dementia or if it is my lawyer's idea to get me out of jail!!|
(Since I'm unsure about who a Page-3 celeb actually is and given the obscene amount of coverage he has been given since last year, Honourable current Tihar-Jail-inmate Mr Suresh Kalmadi surely deserves a special mention in this department)
P.S: Feel free to add names to this list, in the comment box.
__Photo courtesy: Google Images