Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What lies ahead...

Another year flew past us in a blur....well not exactly though.366 days constitutes quite a long time span.Yet at the end of every year I am like..'Woah wasn't it just yesterday that I got so many new year wishes??'...ok maybe not yesterday...but you get the picture.And what a year has it been...so many events of importance...the global economy collapsing like a crumbling house of cards,the very first African-American president claiming that 'Change has finally come to America.',Abhinav Bindra making the whole country proud....and so many other things.....sadder,more unfortunate,gruesome,unpardonable things..like what happened in Mumbai in November.Even though the government is going to great lengths now to bring the perpetrators of peace to justice....it still doesn't make much of a difference..valuable lives have already been lost,a lotta blood has been shed,terror has been instilled in the heart of the common man.....
Anyway in this kind of a scenario....we are all set to welcome a new year into our lives...just like always.Sometimes I wonder how can we do that?I,for one,don't find a single reason to hope for something good in the coming times....okay maybe people'll say that I am one hell of a pessimist....but hullo what is there to look forward to?More terrorist attacks?another unstable government?nations waging futile wars against each other?the global climate becoming more unpredictable day by day?....
Gah what's the world coming to?Is there no hope for survival?These questions often haunt me.I wonder what disasters are awaiting us in the coming year.....(there I go again)
But here we are bringing in booby women from 'foreign' lands to pole-dance for us on new year's eve...drinking and partying our way into the new year.....wooooooo hoooo! >_>...
Well anyway I am not criticizing anyone here....it's everyone's personal choice as to how they wanna celebrate or whatever...but I'd like to say something.
Sometimes we do a lotta things without thinking....we just do things 'cause others tell us to or we do things 'cause everyone else are doing the same thing.We tend to think that this is the best option there is.But trust me..it's so not true.Before doing something you have to atleast ask yourself once....whether this is the right thing to do?whether this will truly make you happy?Sigh...if all of us took some time outta our 'busy' lives and brooded over things the world would be a completely different place....I think.Anyway...enough of lecturing already.I am not the one to show others the path of enlightenment....I have infinite number of flaws myself.But still.....thought I'd just say what I truly felt.
Well anyway....at the end of the day no matter how we feel about the future we have to face it head on.There's no running away from it.But I think if we did a little bit of thinking about all that is happening around us and tried to learn from our mistakes.....it will help us shape a much better 2009.'Cause we ourselves are responsible for all the bad things that happen to our lives.So here's hoping that we'll all change in some way or the other....for the better in the coming year.
A very happy new year to all of you!
Sig 2

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I had a freaky dream....

I woke up feeling really cold.Though there was no reason to feel so.I was wrapped up in my warm blanket.Yet I felt terribly cold....as if I were buried under ice.I had no idea what time of the day it was or whether it was night.I sat on my bed and my eyes searched for my wall clock..but then I couldn't see my walls 'cause a thick mass of swirling mist was encircling my bed.It rose so high that I couldn't see anything in my room except my bed.Suddenly a kind of fear gripped me.I had this feeling that there was something unnatural about this mist.It was advancing...slowly....towards the bed...towards me...as if it wanted to engulf me.I was scared...'cause I knew there was noone inside the house..I was all alone and the darkness suddenly seemed so menacing and unfamiliar.
But then I thought that it was just mist..not a monster.Gathering my courage I got up from my bed and groped in the dark for the light switch..but strangely enough my hands found nothing on the walls....just cold hard cement.I walked to the farther end of my room where my windows were located.I expected to find them open..'cause otherwise there would be no mist inside my room in the first place.But to my utter astonishment they were closed-tightly shut just like always.With trembling hands I threw them open...I needed some fresh air.I knew it was going to be very cold outside but I didn't care.I just wanted to see the outside world so badly.I felt trapped inside my own room.
As I looked outside I found that it wasn't completely dark.Nor did I see the sun.It was hard to tell what time of the day it was.The houses around looked the same as always-listless.But something felt very wrong.Something wasn't right.It was so silent....not even a single twitter of a bird or a bark from a stray dog,no sound of passing vehicles..everything was deathly silent.It appeared as if the entire city were lifeless.It was so creepy.My heart began thumping loudly in my chest....I looked up expecting to see the gray face of the sky and then got another shock.The sky was completely obscured by an impenetrable layer of smoke..thick,black smoke.And slowly it was spreading on all sides.......obscuring everything...swallowing whatever light that was left.And it was slowly entering my room....thick curls of smoke..as the wisps of smoke drew nearer I felt even more cold than before....was this fog then?No it was smoke...some kind of smoke I had never seen before.And it was choking me...numbing me...I coughed violently..grasping my curtains for support...somehow my limbs were refusing to support my weight any longer....I was collapsing.
'Close the windows.'my mind kept telling me.Close the damn windows....But I was falling and my room had already filled with smoke..so thick...so black...and I was suffocating...I was dying...close the windows....I have to close the windows....

It was then that I awoke with a start.I had been dreaming.
Sig 2

Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Silent Protest

I have been there for centuries,
Silently walked millions of miles-
Beside you,behind you-
But still I cannot be found
In pages of your history.

I helped you get to your feet-
When you stumbled and fell.
Urged you to move on-
When you did not have the courage to.
I served life to you on a platter,
Helped you get through your darkest nights.
Yet you did not give me my due importance.

You asked me to hide my face
Behind a veil-
I complied.
You inflicted on me-wounds.
Deep and painful.
Yet I bore the agony in silence.
But then you injured my soul-
Left it bruised and scarred.
And this time-
I screamed out aloud.
The pain had become unbearable for me.

I never asked you for anything.
Except perhaps a little recognition.
But all you ever gave-
Was pain and agony-
That I mutely bore.
But not anymore-

Now I want everything that I was denied.
My share of everything-
Happiness,love,recognition,respect-
All the things that I deserved,
All the things you never gave,
All the things that I will now take.


Sig 2

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Choices


I was just watching The Devil Wears Prada for the 2nd time the other day...the Meryl Streep-Anne Hathaway starrer...based on the best-selling novel by Lauren Weisberger(remember people?).It was quite fascinating to watch Meryl Streep in her role of Miranda Priestly....the vicious,gorgon-like editor-in-chief of Runway,a fashion magazine.And even more interesting was watching Anne Hathaway as Andy Sachs,her transformation from a plain Jane,aspiring journalist to a size-4,glamorous assistant to the devillish boss who'd do anything to keep her job-right from racing down a busy street to get the unpublished Harry Potter manuscript for Miranda's twins within the next hour to fetching a cup of cappuccino with exactly the right amount of sugar and milk(Well God save Andy if it doesn't taste 'good' to Miranda) for Miranda.It was quite funny and painful at the same time to observe the kinda lengths people can go to-to keep their jobs intact.But in the end it was victory for Andy when she quit her job to follow her dreams-when she made the difficult choice and actually realized what she wanted.Lucky her!
In the beginning Andy'd say how she didn't have a choice and that she desperately needed to keep this job cuz it was a good place to begin her journey from.How similar we feel-that we don't have a choice.So we have to go on doing what we ARE doing.We like that pathetic excuse too much.And then it suddenly hit me-the realization that there is an Andy in all of us-confused,troubled and clueless.We are confused cuz we donno what the right thing to do is.We are troubled cuz we are confused and always keep changing our minds.And we are clueless about what we really want-the thing that will make us happy.We just don't know.And that is why it's so hard to make a decision even if it is as trivial as whether we wanna bunk or attend a particular class in college.Our heart says"Aww what the heck man?...ditching one class won't hurt now will it?"and our brains say "Eeek how can I be so irresponsible?..I need to attend this damn lecture."......and somewhere in this tug-of-war between our heart n brain we lose ourselves and the ability to make the right decision.Sheesh how pitiful!How easily we complicate things!Why can't we just decide straightaway?...That okay "Today's class is not important...so I can ditch"or "Nah this topic is important and it's not good to ditch so often...so I WILL attend".Or why can't we tell ourselves "I wanna be a dancer...mugging up stuff from physics isn't my thing...dancing makes me happy so I'll do that"? or why some suffering soul stuck in a hopeless job can't tell himself-"My boss is a pathetic moron who takes credit for my work each day...so I'll just give him good and quit tomorrow".Ya I know it will be highly impractical to actually do all this.But still if doing something gives you satisfaction and some peace of mind and doesn't make you feel ashamed of yourself at the end of the day-then I'd say that will be the right thing to do,the right choice to make.Not everyone are as fortunate and brave as Andy who finally worked up the guts to do what was right and not what was forced on her.Sigh....why is it so hard to make the correct choice?
Sig 2

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Oh let the sun shine strong and bright-
Let it dispel all this darkness.
Oh let all the birds take flight
Let them be freed from their cages.
Let the winds blow along any direction
Let it ruffle up my hair-
Let me inhale deeply in satisfaction.
Just for once let me be unfair.

Let the rain come down in torrents.
And wash away these doubts-
Before I drown in my own regrets.
Let time weave its magic again-
And make me forget all the pain.
Help me snap out of this trance-
Help me move along.
Oh please give me another chance.
This time I won't be wrong.


Maybe there's no scope-
For my happy ending-
Maybe there never was any hope.
From the very beginning.
Maybe I am just what someone says I am-
Maybe I don't even have an inkling.
But still-I'll try to be good.
And I'll do what I should.
Atleast there's no harm in trying.


So let the sun shine strong and bright-
Let it dispel all this darkness.
Let all the birds take flight
Let them be freed from their cages.
Let the winds blow along any direction
Let it ruffle up my hair-
Let me inhale deeply in satisfaction.
Give me a piece of happiness-just my share.
Sig 2

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Light

The clock kept ticking-
While I sat there all alone,listening-
Waiting for that one miracle.
That would change everything.

I heard the low rumble of the clouds,
That defeaning roar of thunder.
'The storm's approaching isn't it?'
I sat and contemplated.
'What more can I do?'I thought.

My room was dank and dark-
And my house feeble and small.
It might collapse in the storm-
It might also kill me in turn.
Yet I sat there like a waxwork-
Unable to move or budge.

Louder and louder the wind howled.
The rain had become heavier too.
'It won't take long now.'
I voiced my thoughts.
And then I heard a knock-
A gentle,little rap on my door.

I knew I had to get up then.
'Someone has come to take me.' I thought.
But when I opened my door-
I found you-
And I found light-
Flooding my darkened little room-
Dispelling the gloom.
As I gazed into those brilliant blue eyes,mesmerized-
You just smiled and said-
'It's time to come out.The storm's over.'


Sig 2

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Ever wondered why birds fly?
Soaring in the endless sky....
Wondered how they feel so high up in the air?
Far above the world below them....
So mean and unfair.
.......I did.


Ever wondered why the sun shines so bright?
Filling the world with heat and light
Making life possible for us
Yet asking for nothing in return.
.......I did.


Ever dreamt of going to Egypt?
Gazing at the pyramids for hours on end....
With wonder and excitement in your eyes-
Wondered how they could stand so tall and mighty....
Bearing witness to centuries of history.
.......I did.


Ever dreamt of a Catholic wedding?
Imagined yourself in a pristine white gown?...
Walking down the aisle with a bouquet in your hands.....
Towards a tall,familiar man....
Looking at you with so much in his eyes.....
.......I did.


Ever wondered where God lives?
Where hell or heaven is?
Why the needy always suffer?.....
And the rich never care.....
Why flowers wither away?
How life always finds a way.....
Why selfishness and discontent brew?
Why most dreams never come true....
......I did.
I still do.
Maybe I always will.
Sig 2

Monday, August 25, 2008

Caught in the 'NET'


Ah another coupla lazy days gone....my hectic week starts tomorrow.I won't get to sit in front of my pc so casually and think about things apart from matlabs,data structure classes and stuff for the rest of the week.That however doesn't mean I won't switch my pc on at all the whole week....I WILL surely do that....cuz I am a netizen(not net-addict,mind you!) after all...how can I survive a week without viewing the so-familiar Yahoo homepage or opening Limewire to search for some music or just to chat with a friend?....Yes it's like surfing the net has become an integral part of my life-like the lives of millions of thousands of others across the globe...I COULD do without any net..but in that case the situation will be equivalent to a life without tv or radio..since you can survive without tv,radio or other forms of entertainment but you'll most certainly miss them like hell....(that's why I'd prefer to believe that I am NOT a net-addict).
College keeps me busy throughout the day.And I get about a total of 5 or 6 hours at home after I get back...and I am supposed to eat,freshen up,rest for a while,complete any pending lab assignments,then eat again and go to bed within this time interval...(tough life I got).If anyone else woulda been in my place I don't think the thought of switching on your pc would even cross his/her mind(unless you gotta do some 'work' on your pc).....but err I choose to be an exception....cuz I can't resist checking my scraps on Orkut even if it is for 15 mins...jeez what has the vile net done to me?...or is it my fault that the net has become such an important part of my survival?....maybe I should try watching some tv or listening to the radio or let's say playing ludo with gran.......ANYTHING else apart from Facebook,youtube,wikipedia or any such bloody site-surfing when I have nothing to do.....I wonder how many others are facing the same problem or,whatever you call it, like me...
Anyway there is one good thing about the net(not that there aren't any OTHER positive aspects though...there are lots)-atleast I get to post this blog..^_^
Sig 2

Monday, August 18, 2008

Innocence Lost

Watching a news channel for more than 5 mins has become a test of your endurance these days...stories of loot,murder,rape,child abuse,human trafficking,bomb explosions continue to haunt us every minute.10 years back people might have found these headlines quite horrifying..but today it has become a part n parcel of our lives...like all this is supposed to happen and we have to accept it...however I still haven't been able to get accustomed to all this bullshit happening around me...I do remain unaffected...busy as I am with college and all the regular stuff a normal girl of my age does....still in the end it doesn't make a difference..as you can't keep yourself aloof from all that's happening around you.....the 'news' really reaches you one way or the other...just like in the evening mum casually told me about this 14 year-old killing off his friend's sister while handing out a cup of coffee....the boy badly wanted to get his hands on the girl's new i-pod(yes that's right a 10 year-old can be a proud owner of an iPod today..and this is NOT supposed to be shocking)...not only did he throw her off a roof of a building(dunno the details here) but also smashed her face with a rock so that her body wasn't identified later..wow what criminal masterminds...and only at 14....sigh....oh and this incident took place in some district in WB....not in some metropolitan city like Kolkata.
Shocking enough?
Sig 2
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